In the forsaken years, I played a guitar
It brought tunes to me like a fresh aroma
A good break from life's toil
I could hold my head up high
Through the door of hope, always beside me
One day I would be free
I would walk for miles to all my destinations
As a trooper looking for a brighter attitude in the breeze
That would strike down the bothers of my life
That kept nipping at my heels like an ugly crow circling its prey
I wanted to come home
To all I had dreamt about throughout my life
To people there who knew me, and how to turn a key to a life worth living
Never ending, where a curve ball throw could not strike my pride and call it an "out"
ENTERTAINMENT
12:00 AM PST, February 8, 2010 - Inside Edition
A little boy was once the apple of his famous father's eye. He even clowned around just like his Dad, legendary comedian Jerry Lewis. Joseph Lewis was the youngest of Jerry's six sons. He looked like his father. (He held the namesake of his father.)
But now we're learning the shocking truth that Jerry's kid is dead of a drug overdose, not a penny in his pocket at age 45. He once lived in a homeless shelter and ate his meals in a soup kitchen.
Jerry Lewis disowned his son 20 years ago and when contacted about his death, reportedly didn't even offer to pay for a funeral.
"I just can't even understand still how he cannot forgive his dead son," said Joe Lewis' ex-wife Kim who was informed of his death by Joe's oldest brother Gary, leader of the sixties band, Gary Lewis and the Playboys.
"And he told me that, you know, that nobody would do anything because Jerry had told the other brothers, 'Keep it quiet. I don't want anybody to know about this.' "
What led Jerry to cut his youngest son out of his life forever? It was this 1989 National Enquirer article in which Joe accused his Dad of viciously beating his kids. Allegations Jerry vehemently denied.
Joe said of his father, "Living with him was pure hell. I've tried drugs. I've tried therapy, and the truth still hurts; my father doesn't love me."
It turns out Jerry Lewis really wanted a daughter when Joe was born in 1964, not another son. He even sang about it on his network TV show with his pregnant wife and five other sons watching from the balcony.
"Joe did always tell me that he always felt he was a big disappointment to his father because he wasn't a girl," said Kim.
Joe began drinking and using drugs as a teenager. He couldn't hold a steady job. But he was tormented by demons. He was diagnosed with manic depression and would sit for hours, sorting through thousands of baseball cards.
Kim and Joe had two baby boys, Bobby and Dan. But the marriage lasted only three years.
"There were times where he would shut all the blinds in the house and sleep for days," said Kim.
Joe would watch his father on the annual telethon for Jerry's kids, but his own letters to his Dad would come back unopened. He drifted from place-to-place and at one point lived in a Los Angeles motel. When the money ran out, he got a bunk in a homeless church shelter.
The autopsy report says he finally died from "acute morphine intoxication" in Utah last October 24. His body was cremated.
"He never wanted to be alone. And I was afraid that he died alone," said Kim.
Joe Lewis's two sons today, 20-year-old Bobby and 18-year-old Dan are the grandsons Jerry Lewis has never met. Dan looks like his grandfather, but doubts he'll ever get any closer to him than watching him on TV.
Bobby said, "I'd really like to meet him, but that's probably never going to happen. It shows me that even hilarious people can have a darker side."
When Joseph remarried, he had a third son who also has never met his grandfather.
INSIDE EDITION reached out to Jerry Lewis for an interview. He declined, but in an e-mail told us his son Joseph was "a dope addict for his first 23 years."
I know that suicide is not a rosy subject, but it is very much part of the mental health landscape, a genuine problem. I delve into other aspects of it in my "HOME" entry but also cover other pertinent topics in the mental health arena. Now it is time to continue with this commentary ...
Unfortunately, this is not a new story. Johnny Carson disowned one of his sons, who also suffered from manic-depressive disorder. He did not visit him while he was in the psychiatric hospital because he did not want the newspaper press to find out about his son's plight. So, he sent his lawyer to handle the matter. As a revered talk show host, it would blight his standing in the community if his public found out. So, it was with Joe Lewis, son of the famed Jerry Lewis. His father didn't know how to deal with his sons mental health issues almost all his life. These are a common type of reactions, as it was the social norm, at the time, whereby people did not discuss mental illness or know how to deal with it. Suicide was especially a taboo subject. Many families felt that they had to keep their families protected from people that may feel ill of them because of a family emotional plight. Now, it is more in the open.
The famed Jerry Lewis, – born Joseph (Jerry) Levitch to parents of the vaudeville milieu. As an accomplished comedian, he said, in many interviews, that he learned everything from his father. Eventually, he teamed up, coincidentally, with Dean Martin. It was in a show that Jerry had suggested to the club owner that he be a co-performer with him one evening, all the material he needed written on a piece of paper, twenty ideas that he thought of between acts. Their association – as a stellar comedian team – lasted ten years, from 1946 to 1956.
Once, in an interview with Jerry Lewis, the talk show host – I do not recall who it was – asked Jerry how he disciplines his sons. He gave an example of how he punished a son who had brought home, what Jerry thought, was a blighted report card. (Jerry felt that his son could do better.) He called his son to his bedroom, told him what he thought about his report card, and systematically took a strap to his son's behind, leaving welt marks. His son was crying when he left the room, and his mother went to the son's bedroom, as she customarily did after a punishment. Jerry listened to the exchange on the home intercom. The son told his mother that his dad loved him. I don't know if that is something that the son had to say, as he would have known about the intercom, or if he meant what he said.
Another guest on the show, a psychologist, told Jerry that he could have probably talked the situation through to reach a different resolution. (I think that it was no coincidence that he was slow on the show.) Jerry brushed off what the guest said and indicated that his method was the best solution to problems between his children and himself.
There was also emotional abuse. When Jerry came home each evening, his wife would get on the intercom to alert everyone. They would scatter out of sight in the sixty-room mansion. As it turns out, Jerry was addicted to pain medication – taking up to 13 pills a day – from a back injury while he was performing. He said to another interviewer that he did not remember anything between that period, which were years, from 1974 to 1978. Whether it is true or not, that doesn't excuse his behavior.
(1) "Johnny Carson", pages 63-64 Copyright 2013 Henry Bushkin
I have personally known clients' parents, with various incomes, who have expelled their children from their home because of mental illness issues. Given that they did not understand what was going on emotionally with their children, they would ship them off to a sanitarium of sorts, or a state facility. One man - a teenager at the time - whom I knew very well later in his life, had a grandmother who didn't believe that anything was wrong with him – she thought he was faking, so she took away his medication. He began having severe symptoms and was shipped off, from the Bay Area, in California, to a sanitarium for juveniles in Texas for three years. He implored his mother to let him return home repeatedly; only after the place closed because of negligence, did they grant his wish. Then, he became a client of a stellar psychiatric community, where receives services to this day.
As I mentioned, it is a very familiar story. I could detail more stories, but it best summed up, in my experience, that abusive parents don't usually admit wrongdoing; in fact, they try to portray themselves as loving parents. This attitude can produce severe consequences for those clients in need of trustworthy psychiatric services with the emotional support of their family.
Part of ways to counteract mental health issues is cited below in a program called WRAP.
Now that you have read this entry, I want you to know that there is always hope, and other useful tools one can utilize to counteract dire psychological symptoms. I suggest that you become familiar with Mary Ellen Copeland's Wellness Recovery Action Plan (WRAP)*. Her mother was in an institution for several years and evolved out of it because of this program. I think the one concept that could be included in this area is that of self-realization. In the situation, succumbing to mental health issues, initially, one has to become aware of what is happening to them. This personal growth of "seeing" the shades of gradation that become more apparent, as time goes by, is a strength while grappling with a mental health issues. There is also the gradual process of securely establishing a kind of resiliency/tolerance from having a mental health relapse*.
The five key concepts are as follows:
Hope
Personal Responsibility
Education
Self-Advocacy
Support
It is essential to note that I always had hope in my heart. That is a crucial aspect of recovery.
*Notation: This is not an advertisement to use WRAP. I have no formal or informal agreement with the Copeland Center to earn money in bringing up this strategy.